Love is not irritable It’s Thanksgiving week. For some of us this is going to be a challenging week. As much as you may love your family, this is the kind of week that can be really challenging when you cram lots of family into a small space, for an extended period of time, and try to manage not just the food, but the complexities of every relationship that is going on in that room. This morning I’m hoping to give you a good word that you can use this week. Taken straight from the love chapter. Something that I shared with our staff at our retreat in the fall. Love is not irritable. Let’s just define love; love is an inner orientation where, through the power of God, I work and I will for the good of another person. And this usually involves sacrifice. 1 Corinthians 13:1 If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. 4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. When Paul wrote this, he didn’t write it as a Valentine to this church in Corinth. He writes it because they were terrible at love. Their love was showy. Their love was for applause. Their love was selfish. None of those words – selfish, applause or showy can even be in the same sentence as love! And then, right in the middle this passage, there is this little phrase that really speaks; love is not irritable. You see it in verse 5. Love is not irritable. This little sentence is surrounded by all kinds of things that make us irritable. Do you see those words? Jealousy. Boasting. Proud people. Rude people. Demanding people. Love is not irritable. This is needed because life is full of irritants. An irritant is anything that causes frustration. Anything that gets under your skin. Of course, the number one irritant in life is other people. Everybody may be welcome at this church but it’s also true that everybody’s irritating. Irritability is a mood. Moods are longer-lasting than emotions. A mood is a tendency to have a certain kind of emotion. Now, what is it that produces an irritable person? This is connected to the very next observation that Paul makes about love, “love keeps no record of wrongs.” We are all record keepers. We all have certain memories and certain thoughts that we store up in our minds and bring back to our awareness on a regular basis. Irritable people keep a record of when they have been wronged. You may wonder, why in the world would anybody want to do this? A wonderful writer named Frederick Buechner put it like this: “of the seven deadly sins anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds and to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontation still to come, to savor to the last tasty morsel the pain that you are giving and the pain you are getting back, in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback to all of this is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you.” Now here is what is critical; love keeps records too, it just doesn’t keep records of wrongs. It keeps other records because we are all record keepers. Love remembers gifts to be grateful to God for. Love remembers qualities and others that I really admire. Love remembers moments of joy that I get to savor. Love remembers suffering that I might be able to do something about. Love remembers injustice that I might be able to help relieve. Love remembers reasons for hope. Love keeps a record of rights. So what are we to do? Ephesians 4:17 With the Lord’s authority I say this: Live no longer as the Gentiles do, for they are hopelessly confused. 18 Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him. 19 They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity. 20 But that isn’t what you learned about Christ. 21 Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, 22 throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. 23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. 24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. 25 So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. 26 And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 for anger gives a foothold to the devil. 28 If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need. 29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. 30 And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 5:1 Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. 2 Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. To summarize… Don’t walk according to your feelings. Put off the sinful nature. Put on the new nature. Let the spirit renew you. Don’t let the sun go down on anger. Get rid of bitterness. Be kind. Imitate God. Walk in love. Let’s see what GOD can do! Pastor Brian Harrell